Your lonesome tears

♥Your Lonesome Tears♥
Kry-Syella
When was it I missed your sobs
Was it the day you were not the top?
Or the time our conversation was a shallow depth

I am so sorry I have negelected you
Only thinking I feel worser then you
I know the apologies will never ease your anger
But I really want to say I will love you forever

I remembered the kiss you gave me
The touch that is now a blur memory
The tears we shed without crying
The mutal understanding

We promise to bring happiness to each other
But it only brought complication together
The love was too much that it hurt
A love that could be broken with a whisper

You asked for a moment, a recognition
The memories of the briefest moment
The touch, the tangle, a wire to bind us together
It's undone cause it weight to much for us

You say we are meant for each other
Where is the action to prove that statement?
Is it the night we spend together
That desire that lead to a false acceptance

I never once look you in the eye
Those eyes that give away my lies
I never once love you
So why are you crying for me
Baby you are putting me in agony

Is it remorse?
That cause our relationship to be forced
Or the guiltiness that flip your guts
HA! It pales when compared to my stabbed heart

Yes baby I once love you from my heart
But now I will only keep it to my heart
Be free and heal the wound I had cut
Please forget me on my behalf
I am not the right lover to fill you up

Love, it is a complicated word
But love, I believe you will understand it
But it is not me to tell you the meaning
I hope you find someone that show you that feeling
I will be contented when I see you with her

So please don't cry with me
Be strong for your future
I am leaving, so don't see me off
It will only break me more
My man, my love
Remember your the nicest man that I dear
It is just that we are not meant for each other

I am the moon, you are the day
We are an eternal away
So baby boy please find your sun
As the moon travel during the night time
To find refudge, to find her time
To leave her lonesome tears
A day behind

Bolevard of wonderful friendships

In a blink it is the end of 2008 and also the end of my fourteenth year as a human. What have learnt so far?... Well I will answer that as detailed as possible, after some thinking that I plan to carry in this long year-end vacation. One thing I am sure I had learnt would be friendship.
The chalet had allowed me to witness the friendship bond that my friends and I had tied ourselves in. The thought of someone amongst us leaving was something painful. I experience the sudden ache on the second day of the chalet. The shrinking posture and serene ambience of the beach make me tense and relaxed. It was a clash of emotions, and the thought someone precious to me hurt cause me to suffocate in sorrow.
No amount of pain could compare to the ache of my pounding heart. As if by coincidence, my tears just flow freely. The world does not mean anything to me anymore, my pride, my posture it was all thrown into the predestined sea. Like the sea my heart was filled with mysterious darkness that no one can swim into. It felt cold and lost as it lost a part of itself... the joy of friendship.
When someone cried, it was due to the unbearable mental or physical pain. And for [him] - a nice and cheerful person, it must be so painful it could not be tolerated. That was in my head.
The next thing i knew my hand was covered over my mouth as a gagged on my saliva, my tears formed from the corner of my eyes, it burst and flow down, my chest was heaving, in and out, in and out, I pound my chest to stop the pain, bending forward my mind was a blank. Who was beside me, who saw it, I cant care much....
All I want to say, to me my friends are like my brothers, my sister, it is not a code, not a statement, not a clique term, it is a feeling it is something that is from the bottom of my heart stirring my emotions and questioning my character.
Hey krysyella[shuji] friends out there I KRYSYELLA WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR PRECIOUS FRIEND.........

TOMODACHI 4EVA

KOREAN NIGHT

I am so going to the Korean night and not only that I heard there is special mystery guest OMFG>.< I hope it is Super junior at least or anyone man... sigh... if only visual kei will come. I really that will happen. Anyway just came back from my chalet and it was BLOODY HELL SADDENING .... i cried big time it is that sad and touching. this song is for my friends>>>


this is the lyrics {Big Bang - OH MY FRIEND}
OH MY FRIEND
[GD] 1, 2, 3, 4!
[DS] If this world makes you sad, say my name whenever and wherever
I am 911 emergency, for you only, I’m only 5 minutes away, yeah yeah
[SR] Your sorrow that you feel isn’t sorrowIt’s a rope that bonded us together
[YB] I’ll get wet in rain for you, run without a stop,
go through a rough wind yeahYour heavy burden,
dark shadow; I will block them all now
[Chorus NO BRAIN]Oh my friend oh my friend;
I will be your friend foreverOh my friend oh my friend;
only you can make me live
Oh my friend oh my friend;
I will become a tree behind you silently
Oh my friend oh my friend;
my friend I love you (dear) friend
[TOP] Let’s rock & roll, man I don’t control
Close your eyes and open your heart (Love & Peace)
Hope you dreamed (of), trust me, tells only truth without lies
Walk straight, limp at least once, mistakes can happen to anyone
Step on a failure and get up, goodbye to a wound that aches
[GD] (Yo) Come on! Hold my hand and let’s go, let’s look for a lost dream again
Let’s fly together, brush up dusts, let’s go together, a person next to you as well
We can’t see an end but future is bright, there are many chances because we are young
Let’s love each other, scream louder, FREEDOM!
[Repeat Chorus]
(Yea, yea, yea, here we go!)
[Bridge; DS + SR + YB]Leave from bored daily life as you dreamed
Run toward the dream, dear
Go away go away, let’s go away baby
Whoa ho, Whoa… oh oh ~ (GD: Big Bang, No Brain, haha once again(Yeaaa) Everybody RUN!
[Repeat Chorus]

What A relief

OK I did not do well for my examinations this term and i am like freaking upset :(

Well I have no idea how to spent my holidays?? JIJIBOON I spent my time watching SUPER JUNIOR FULL HOUSE and ATTACK OF THE PIN-UP BOYS.

I like the show a lot it is super funny and i like KAng-in the best he is super funny.

His jokes are really nice and he gives me the best impression...

One thing I like most about him is he is not very girlish and does not care much about his look he is just very normal, chubby, cute and hilarious. HE IS MY TYPE!!!~

Another member I like most (...AFTER KANGIN...) is LEETEUK ;p

SUPER JUNIOR FOREVER

Yo The end of SCHOOL

MAN I just can bear to split with my precious classmate and man this is really breaks people into agonized sorrows:( Listening to The GazettE to calm myself...*banging my head on a imaginary mayonnaise puddle on the floor* Talking about The GazettE THERE IS THE NEXT PSCarnival on the 1st month of 2009

Exam is over >.<

This semester's paper was pretty difficult and yes i had doubts in scoring high, in fact I wonder if I could even get into A-math class considering math is my weakest and I hate like it is a mayonnaise killer. Got addicted to another food and that is sausages!!! The thought of it sizzling in the toaster just make my mouth water and pretty thoughts conjured in my mind. 'ADD MAYONNAISE', 'ADD HONEY AND MUSTARD DRINK IT DOWN WITH CUCUMBER JUICE', 'DIP IT IN COKE AND EAT WITH PIG'S SKIN'

Anyway there is nothing much to do during the holidays. The Malaysia trip is cancelled

:( *DAMN THOSE BANANA FIGHTERS* Will I be jailed if I say that? WHO CARES.

This year someone precious is leaving me, in fact every year someone is leaving from me...:(

Please don't leave me alone

I just want to hold on to your hands

The warmth of your tears, pour on my world like rain

Drop your dreams, Ah~how selfish I had been

Lala~i am crying like a cat,

haha~you're like the dreams in my nap

That blows when you pat my hand

Time such nasty things, such playful beings

I'll miss the time we eat our first beef patties

As we talk about a boy-girl relationship

Life couldn't get better

Life would be different without you....

LALA~Will it be beautiful?

So well this is dedicated to my lovely friends and kins. Well as for what I will do this holiday? Read books, write lyrics (LOTS OF THEM), draw disfigured faces, eat a big mayonnaise diet and watch lots and lots of concert... I think there won't be any overseas trip installed this holiday due to the GLOBAL economic crisis and my father countering at a position near the frontline:(

Looks like another series of financial rationing is needed that means o.0 the returns of DOOMS-KRY.....................................

*listening to plastic tree- Replay to calm down*

REPEATED COUNTLESS ERROR

ITS FINALLY OUT THE LONG WAITED ITEM I PROMISED TO CHERISH. I am buying at well just hope no one finds it haha.Youtube has it already, and many people say that it is very like yokohamas' with not much surprises. It seems like Ruki was rushing in his song and there was little emotion mixed in with it. Screams were made at the wrong time. Every individual was good but it did not put a tingle on the audience skin. BUT WHO CARES!!! But i expect them to be better, seeing those comments, i really wonder what ere they doing. SCARED? I can't say much because I am not a musician, but I really expected more...

DOMO-KUN Revolution

I am in love with DOMO-KUN. It is super cute and he is freaking hilarious, i went to see one of the AMV of his and it was hahahahaha... (the song is by The Pillows-21 Fingers)

Wow!! Shocked

Today I was damn angry in choir. i was scolded by my junior (I don't wish to name her.) i ask her to move a bit and she scolded me, "Aiya never mind lar, you not seating here! Go the other side lar." <[-.-]> I was so pissed man. Yesterday I went to bollywood veggie farm and darn it is beautiful. But it do be nicer if we went on a breezy day. Well to day is the first day of the seventh month hope nothing happens to me, since I am prone to staring.... Well the whole month was ok accept the fact that I had to escape many ways from Amanda's physical training. Never mind Si Xian's expectation and task is even torturous.

The quiet Singapore

Today after dinner with my uncles and aunt we went to a secluded place near Hort Park and it was beautiful. I had never seen Singapore with so much greenery and I felt so relaxed so stress-free. I vowed to go back there to take a look and mebbie have a picnic. Seriously those residents sure know how to lead a good life. Well today nothing special really happened accept the fact mayday concert DVD cause a boom and I like Jam Hsiao's 蕭敬騰 vocal. He is a midnight sensation. I really got touch by his voice. However I don't think he is suited for singing sentimental like Sodagreen's [Xiao Qing Ge].

The move

Well we quarrelled and it was horrible (in my opinion)so I had enough and I felt I had treated them too bad. I am not fit to accept their care and concern. I am such handful that I myself found myself hateful and disgusting. We can't accept each other, so to save everyone I give up first. It was so much easier, so much faster. I feel tired too tired i can't sleep. Mum is scolding me by the bed.

China Trip

Long time no blog already. So how was life? NOT SO BAD! well exam was over and I did PRETTy well all A1s' and A2s'. I came in fifth in class right after Si Xian and I was so happy. BUT I think I should improve more on my english, so I started reading more books. I am currently in love with Haruhi Murakami and Soseki Natsume's works. It is really lovely. It talks about the world and the character's view towards his or her own life and the people surrounding her. I think their books are more close to the livelihood of us humans. Well I just came back from China. I went to Shanghai and Beijing and I must say, although they are both parts of China, one is the capital and another is a commercial district, Beijing is so much more peaceful and clean. The environment they portray to the tourist is a place filled with rich history. It also exert a sense of uniqueness and hospitality. However it is not as prosper as shanghai nor is it a concrete jungle with high rise buildings. THe most memorable thing I did is I act smelly toufu and it is delicious the XIao longbao, beijing duck and fried sauce ramen is delicious. I totally love it. It is a whole new experience for me. Great wall of China is just magnificent, one of the beauties mankind have created.

Watching this show very funny

Camping

It was an interesting experience and I really love it. The most memorable time is the warcry camp. I would say it is a mixture of happiness and sadness. I was really demoralised when everyone seem dejected and sadden. They were all relunctant to participate and I was really sad I was about to cry. And who knows the most ah bang in class, Amirul cheered me up. I could not explain how sad I was when I saw all the girls in my class so discouraged. Man in the end it was still a success. Of course it is also not only my job it is all thanks to zhihui and shuan. It was a really emotional experience. I would really like to thanks the whole of sec 2F for making it so memorable day. Well right now I am at grandma's house. I really love it here. Spending time with an elderly especially my granny is really peaceful. I felt really free. The air I smelt was so fresh. I really like my granny's house it is spacious and clean no heavy aura. It gave me memories of the last few days with mommy and daddy. I love the shampoo. Oh yea you know this few days I was really pissed with Juaniter I felt like screaming in front of her. I don't even know if she is interested in this friendship. And she is so frequently mood swinging . So angry it is like only she can get angry and hurt people. I hate it it is so selfish. OMG i really hate people like that. I hope she can improve her attitude i dunt wish to thin this bond. Now I am currently into Amy Winehouse

My days

Well it was okok I went to the zoo for CIP and it was a bit exciting and a bit boring aha. Now I am like spending time reading and studying. My grades were good and a few surprising like top for Chinese in the hold secondary two and distinction in math. I was really happy wanted to continue the good job and I wrote some songs and was praised by my friends. I was really happy that they like the songs and really hope to create more inspiring ones. Well there was one issue that i felt really concerned. It was about Natasha Jamilah. Well I sat with her last year the whole year. To me she is a really quiet girl and it takes a really long time for her to open up to you and well I am not sitting next to her and she is sitting with amanda now and well she is suffering so is amanda because they hate each other. So once Amanda hurt her when her heart was already shattered and bleeding becuse she has not even one friend. She is alone. She cried and as her first friend I felt a mixture of guiltiness and sadness and I really want to help her but I can't I don't know why I just fear to lose my current friend becuase of her. I felt really selfish and disgusting. i FELT LIKE CRYING. i TOLD MY FRIENDS AND THEY TELL i WAS JUST EMOTIONAL. What Am I going to do???? I felt really sad
Tears I cried was bleeding crimson blood.

Songwriting

I wrote a song and it I used the Billy joel's pianomen

Mr. Aaron’s Fantasy

It six o’clock on a morning dawn
As the sun goes up shining
It says its time to milk the cow
While running for a mile

Oh~ Jesse time to wake up
Time to show the world~

Run as the wind shows you to your way
Fly like a bird as you dash the plains
Sway like a grass as your father stood
Looking proudly at you

Oh~ dream, dream of being me
Dream of fantasies

Oh~ what are you doing? I’ll like to ask
Why are you stuck in this place?
You could be a cartoonist~
What was in your head?

As god heard your plead and grant you a wish
You had met a new friend…
Someone who like dreaming a dream
Someone who like imagining

Come play a game, our secret game
Where our confidents will gain
Open our eyes as we waken our minds
To see the world so nice

Oh~ dream, dream of being free
Free for fantasies

Sing us a song, you are now a man
Sing us a song about your land
It’s bitter, sweet? But I know it’s complete
Like how your friendship has been

Don’t worry now its going to be fine
Your wish has ended early
But so has your test been started now
To prove you are worthy for a crown

But is it some kind of joke god had given me
To prove I’m a good kid
Do I looked like a boy who didn’t mind
To lose a good friend of mine

Can you feel the pain I tried to suppress?
As my tears flew down freely like the river flow
How I ach as the glorious day…
No longer shine on my head

So dreams are only dreams
Don’t say such lonesome thing
Just see the day in a brighter way
To make the day a little gay…

here is how the real song is like and I really like it



enjoy!

The Holidays

I would have to say it is very eventful. I watched a total of three movies. Long Pte led, CJ7 and KUngfu Dunk. And I would have to say the best is of course Jay chou's Kungfu dunk very nice and very funny. Never see jay chou so childish before. Anyway pay a visit to fathers old man and god was his new house pretty.It was at bukit panjang and it is the best haha. Well skinny old ma says come live at her house. Well like hell no. I don't know what they may do to me. And please I don't think anyone in my mama's family will allow. Sigh~ tough life. Yeah a have wholesome love from everyone but heck I ini't not feeling it. Went to cineleisure yesterday to look for the shop. ZOMG it just dissappear and I can't find it. And god pissed me, out came second bro Meng and zhihao. WTFG are they following me because they are watching the same movie at THE SAME TIME!!! Lucky it was not the same hall. Or I would run home and pack my things and find a living at KL. Well got to go my uncle's computer is going geexiao already. BYES well end of holiday let hell break out man

Videos DAY \ >.< /

Here is some video I really love.

Phanstamagoria - Eternal silence


LUNA SEA - BELIEVE (GOD BLESS YOU～One Night Dejavu～)


This are really touching songs from the pioneers of visual kei and yeah they disbanded. Lets have a few minutes of silence

The Chinese Day

Yesterday was the day of the chinese new year. And it was really nostalgia./ Why nostalgis? Well I went on a walk to jelta and it was really fun. The street was the same as the past 3 years and henry park was the same except the parade square thwy are building something more and it seems to be another sports hall. SO lucky lar. If only repeat primary school. Khai Xin said everyone miss. Puh-lease like they will. They are like so happy. LIke they will remember me. O.0 Anyway I went to jelta and wanted to buy this mushroom and two mushroom cost 2.49 singapore dollars. I was like wow are you sure. Daddy even allow me. He rwally know how to spend. He actually pay thousands of dollars to buy a limited edition watch. Ridcule. I mean you can like know them does not mean you buy them rite. A thousand of dollars can allow me to attend 10 of The gazette tour including air tickets. HAHAHAHA. Well later we went to Suntec and ate korean food before buying a big bloody duck. He say he is going to cut it. Well I am fine excluding the head dangling with its eyes staring with retorting agony and it intestine that drips mercilessly down as it entangles into a massive gut mash. hopeless insane mental image of death really disgusting. I wonder how it feels to slaughter a cow. Imagine a blood clot up milk. *shudder* Well never mind after that I went home. And use my computer till 10pm. Then I watch MTV EMA awards 2007. With Snoop Dogg as MC hot I will say. From them I get to know 30 seconds to Mars. Not really that good as MCR but is really nice. At least there is not much screaming. And there is Nelly Furtardo and TOKIO HOTEL who won an award. I love tom not bill. Tom's guitar skills is much better and tom only know how to sing only. Tom is very funny ok >.< Yea kool It was held in Munich by the way and the stage was BIG and PRETTY and the crowd was just lovely. I am like in land gaming shop with all my cousins now and I am the only one blogging right now. Which is kind of weird but who cares a fuck right. haha anyway i ust went to my mother's mama house for visit and well one thind it is crap up boring. But I watch this show on tv it is a japanese variety show. About primary kid bounding their leg to another kid and running acros 50 metres and there is like 30 kids so it was really hard to run. I was touched by their teamwork and really think it is touching I actually cried okies. Another thing I felt like crying is Luna sea's One night De JaVU during last year's chiristmas eve I felt like crying. It was my first time listening to them and I had such great emotions. Oh wonder so many people like them. it is deepest regret to not listen to them. Well got to go le bye

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!



Life was not so simple after ALL !!! Aunt said she will take my radio away so I can't listen to music AT ALL anymore. I am really angry that I cried a lot of times alone. I really long for freedom. I mean my mum is so much better. I really hate it when people push me into a corner. I really hate it.... Hatred just swell up in my head and heart. I really my current lifestyle. It is rotting me into a person of greed. It is like this, when you have no love no freedom there you are, a person who do evil for attention and a person who try all ways to find happiness that people think is freedom.

Anyway never mind that... IT is CHINESE NEW YEAR yea. This years chinese new was quiet... very quiet. NOT that it is a bad idea because I really enjoyed the peacefulness brought by the silence. We took a late night bus of 111 to see the quiet night life of orchard road and it was really kool. Imagine what will happen if no one evers patronize orchard again. That would be the result. So life can really be pleasant if you imagine it that way. I watched the Bridge to Terabithia and I find the story really wonderful. I tells us to not only see your surroundng with your eyes but also with your mind. 'Keep your mind wide open'. That is something I really appreciate. We must have an open mind, A mind that debates, a mind that accept and rejects. You must have all three and the most important... imagination. Everyone has different way of imagine, for me I like to imagine things that I long for which is typical to all people. I also think of the past and reflect. I like to compare. I like to complain. I complaint to my mind. i complaint to i.... I also like to think of freedom, life and all the beautiful word I can think of. Anyway What I want to say is most of the time I prefer to stay alone and peaceful. I don't like to mess in the crowd unnesscarily. Anyway thats all I got to write HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR. Oh I have another blog. NICE !!!! It is a music blog so yea awesome >.< Well going to Jealita so yea BYES here is Alicia Keys in Japan for you