HAPPY NEW YEAR

A new year is coming soon. So... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope next year will be better than the last 3 years. I hope everything can remain the same. Still intact. I just hope for that. It is simple but difficult but i dun give damn about it. This 3 years taught me a lot. Give me a lot of learning experience. But I just want to take a break. To follow the normal pace. I just want to see a new perspective. I want to be normal... I will still be me. I will still be a visual kei fan but i will open my mind bigger. It will be slow but as time come it will be normal soon. So I had a resolution: A peaceful 2008 onwards.
I am following up on other genres of music like R&B. I love this song by Rihanna "Umbrella". I did destest it at the starting thinking that it holds no meaning, but actually it was very catchy and I'm totally addicted to it. Last time I was not a big fan of english songs but I'm ok with it now. Some of them were really touching like Red Jump Suit Apparatus. They have this song "my guardian angel" which I thought was really pretty. Finally found a new collaboration by Miyavi and and I really like it. Guren single coming out soon. Khia is screaming off my head. We need to meet someday. Hope that the reunion will be starting soon. I hope I can get back to it soon when I'm more steady. Taking a break for a while, but on and off willl still check up on them because very busy.
So won't be blogging for quite a while. Will stick back to yellow book. If I can find a computer then I will blog. Ulverworld has new album called Corpulaton. Kinokuniya will the only place to quench my thirst.
Alice nine label mate beast disbanded. Shika cried so sad meh. I only like their song "days" Krysyella

HIKING!!!!!!!!!

Today went with my father and Aunty Jacaulinqe to HIKE at BUKIT TIMAH HILL O.O Freaky she damn fit lor. But really the place very nostalgia. It remind me of primary 5 diary farm camp a lot. I really like those time although there is BAD time.... But hey still kool with it. I didn't really participate in any of the games though. SCARED of it mah. Height scared. VERY!!~ I like the stream A LOT. Then after that went to sunset estate to eat shabu shabu. WAH OIISHI~ I love beef with raw eggs. I really like the beef so tender. ARGH I want to stay there forever. That estate very nice, very peaceful. Soma live there she told me before. Never went to her house though. WOnder how she is??? Arh~ miss 6A.... After that went to Eunos to warehouse shopping.... CAnt find the warehous in the end. Stranded for atleast an hour. Wasting time lor... Any way that is all I did today. Found this website with Miyavi new singles. I heard it .... FANTASTIC. He collaborate with his senpai SUGIZO. VERY GOOD http://soso2008.multiply.com/music/item/206 I like the song. A LOT. He is having his next tour soon next year. Even to the United States. The GazettE have new singles soon too Guren Khia told me on the Feb 13. MYV is on jan 18. I think CAnt really remember... Well Got to Go love BYees~

ARGH!!!! The GazettE kool

The Words I want to blog got problem so I lost it. FUCK-UP computer *middle Finger*

Choir Concert 23/12

Well the concert was a huge success !!! It went really well. All of us was able to listen and feel together. There was this part where all of us flat together! AWESOME. It is like we were thinking the same thing. Like we are one. It is really kool and I love the sound balance. Although the audience is not really enthusiastic. But all in all i got the feeling of a performer and I really like it a lot and at the starting I was really nervous but in the everything was okok. Guess why? I was like in my head thinking I need to calm down. Then I thought of Ruki. He is performing in front of 17.000 people and it was so well. And he is the only vocalist so if he WENT OFF PITCH. It will be a hard time to cover. Maye the guitar. Or ig the sound man was fast to change it the volume down. Imagine his circumstances allowed me to calm down and listen to my rest of the members. So most of the time I thought of them. LOL right. Here I am singing vocals while thinking of rokkou. But it works though. Instead I remained calm really really calm anyway yeah. It was holy god fun. I was like hey is there encore? I WANT TO SING AGAIN!!!!!!!! Choir really help collect part of the experience I need. But I know it is not sufficient. Someday I know I need to create a whole lot of trouble to get that min. experience. YES I will head of to Nippon to take a look. And if by chance maybe catch a show at yokohama hall or Budokan. NUMBER ONE dream step into this two concert hall as and employee, employer or ARTISTES. Lolol. NVM I just want to help bring a good concert. As a child I have always dream that and I will work hard to step foot in there. Well or I need to do now is study. LOL really that may lift my closer. Don't know. Khia lynn is working hard to perfecting her piano while me is the guitars. She is going for song writing courses. LUCKY her. I am like struggling really hard to get inspiration. I like every time I watch a concert I will then think of inspiration. So I love watching concerts. They let my mind do pretty imaginations. Allow me to see a things in all kind of way. I really love concert especially those really pretty ones. The GazettE is another. Alice Nine is also okok. But I want something big. Massive. I think I will need to work really hard to write songs like Ruki and play like Aoi. The choir concert is just the start of my performer journey and no way it will quench my thirst for concert. I will start fast. And I want to catch up fast really fast. And it is not about any genre. All means and ways I will do it. HAHAHA. LOL tsk.tsk now I am grounded from using the computer because I used it till the late nights and I watch The GazettE. HAHAHA inspiration freak I am. Well now is all up to me. Independents no way can I rely on anyone any more. I lost one person close. No more freaking such bonds any more. Attachment free. That is good. I love no one. LOL that is sweet. Friends I have. I need is seclusion. What I want is my ambition, my lust, my dream. YES nuts I am. I must admit I am NUTS but i Love the feeling so yep happy. I will look at satisfactory. I will only take, learn all that. THAT IS ALL NO MORE SHIT FEELINGS OF LOVE...........................
GOTTA GO WRITE TO YOU Went I can. maybe next holiday. BYE

20th december 2007

Sorry did not write for so long. I was really lazy. Well this few days I had a few calls from Khia Lynn and I really miss her. LOL. But well my family members disagree with me hanging with her. Well understandable since both of us talk like crazy people lol. Im like really pissed lor. When I was like talking halfway my aunt or my cousin will start FREAKING. I talked about Andrea has a boyfriend. I am really angry with this stupid timing for my bedtime. OKies about Andrea well she is nuts… WHY? Well I said before about the oral sex that she had with Evan, her boyfriend, mind you. She… to say in an ugly way…. She gave Evan a blow job. Right AND nearly got herself FUCKED. What the hell…. I am like really shocked that Andrea, a complete social withdrawal, the last time I see her was like this now. I mean yar she is wild and crazy at times. She does physical harm on herself… but no way can I believed she did that. YAR they may think they used condoms so it is no biggie. But hey, Khia told me the guy is a HIV freak and also a freaking drug addict. No sniffing…. It is JABBED. With a bloody non-sterilized needle and she still love him, till she has BDSM dreams of that Australian good-for-nothing. Grate and I thought she was a bisexual…. I was really happy that she has a boyfriend… someone of the opposite sex who care for her. I mean I was happy. I thought they would you know… know their limit that their age allow. NONO what was I thinking no Andrea is not! She have to do it so fast. And The guy he is every problem that a girl do not want frustrating. I am really worried for her. I talked to khia lynn yesterday I missed. I really want to talk to someone who like visual kei. Someone like me. I was happy when I talk to her I just want to continue talking till in the morning. I was really happy and glad to hear her voice. She is the only person who understand my favourism of the music. Well yar I really love talking to Khia. And I think my aunt and cousin are really extreeeemely protective of me. I mean I really like to scare them. I will pretend to like you know not go to choir when I actually got to scare them. Well I had many happy things this few days also. There is like this shop on the six floor in cineleisure that sells The GazettE guitar pick and photos. They also have Miyavi and Alice Nine very kool. Khia says there is punk-rock and lolita clothes. They can cosplay as Vk artiste. I wonder if have GazeROCK t-shirt. WOW I really wonder when I can go to Japan. I must like study really hard like hell next year to go to Japan. I really want to take a look at Budoukan. I really want to check it out and so is Harajuku. Anyway well I am like really busy with the stupid choir concert. Man Yaner's voice was really good. She was like praised by Miss Khor. Trying really hard to get my pitching correct. LOL. Anyway still listening to The GazettE. Find them too kool to ditch. Hope to meet them in live. My dream is like to have a concert with them lor. Well Anyway still trying to handle my choral voice cum rock voice together. Really diffcult. Practising hard on Guitars too. So well I am 13 so I hope to be better whrn I am 18. Still not giving up my studies. Still studying hard. STill worried with maths though. But I think the rest should be okies. Just memorize. I LOVE MEMORIZING. I feel pre-occupied. Well I think I must do really well I MUST GET FOUR PERFECT A's IN ORDER TO HEAD TO TOKYO... HOPE TO CATCH SOME FAMILIAR FACES ^^ & BUY SOMETHING I LIKE (still thinking)

Running o.0

Omg I had to go running today.xain lor Well. I had choir today and it was fun. WAtching Moon child now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FubcVQKaFHE&NR=1

11 December day.... DEATH DAY?

OMG I like totally spend my whole day shopping. And believe it was totally not enjoyable. I had to shop for a white polo t-shirt and a FUCKING white skirt. What in the name of any god did I buy a skirt? Because my choir concert's costume consist of it. DAMN it... I was really irritated lor okok. I can't find a single white skirt and the polo shirt I found was way translucent that I need a singlet inside. And my boobs totally showed. I really wish I am a flat-chest. I mean I don't mind no guys liking me. At least I look nice. Anyway nowdays guys don't go for girls with big chest. If they really do, they are just imature. BUT however.... my day was brighten in the end, because I bought two shirt that fit exactly and look NICE on me. >.<>.<

Choir

Well went to Queenstown for choir. It was damn tiring but we didi not lose face. LOL Queenstown haas really improved though. DOn't feel like blogging today. Reading Naruto fanfiction. BDSM LOL. Anyway here is a video I personally like.... It got my favourite guitarist....




Well I will blog tommorrow well byees~

My friend called...

I spent the morning watching wu yue tian concert and The GazettE concert. I was doing concert analysis. Well Final Home was really tame while The GazettE was really... wild. Final Home has more props and it is more grand but the atmosphere is not really 'crazy'. It is high, it is very happy and touching but I think it lack the kind of crazy antics that The GazettE holds. Well it is also partly because of the songs actually. Wu Yue Tian's song is too happy, too pure. That is why no matter how much scary sound effect we put it does not holds the atmosphere of a dark world. They actions too were too wide, too smothering. Soft and all that. That is why they have so many people who like them. They prove to the world that rock those always have to be abut screaming and shouting. They also can be tame and all that. There could also be really meaningful meanings hidden in it. As for The GazettE... well their concert is really wild. From the deem lightening and sound effect you can sense they are stressing on something sorrowful. They scream at the correct time, at the point where they emphasis the meaning of the song. They use different hand signs and all kinds of method to show the expression of each different song. There was this part where Ruki was doing nice hand rail sliding and he was sucking his hand. Man that was nuts. He really showed he was singing a song of sex. Mega LOL. Anyway I like most is the echo effect. So when they scream it sound like the scream is still ringing in your ear after it ended 10 sceonds later. And Aoi-san scream was really nice. It was really awesome the two bands. It showed to different side of rock. So if you ask who I would prefer... well I think both were good in their ways. But truthly I think it was The GazettE. Am I being prejudice like what Mengmeng say? Well we were about to go for dunner at Sakura BUFFET and guess who called? WU KHIA LYNN. It was so embarrassing when she shout into the phone and my aunt and cousin heard it. She called because she saw MANA'S GUITAR -.- Well really I am not really a big fan of Malice Mizer. They are like okok. But she is a big fan... But seriously I really miss her and her screams of visual kei. But just the thought left to worry again. I can't talk to her musch any more.... I have just landed in a good school. I can't go bak to them. I can't continue with our crazy antics. SIGH* Well later after dinner which was nice, we went to kinokuniya. And I found Neo Genesis Yearbook. And guess who was on the front cover? THE GAZETTE. ARGH.... can't they just leave me alone. Every where is them..... And another sad thing... BIS is disbanding why...why. They are really nice people and their sounf are good. They are label mates of Alice Nine. ARH.... Well then later I got really mad with my cousin MengMeng. I really don't like when he act kool lor. Like you know like jay chou or something.... It is stupid. Then him caring about everything of me. My language, my english, my music, my manners. I mean I don't give a damn lor. He like give this really blank face when I say something nasty. Which I hate.... And he treat me like a kid, like I don't know what I am saying. Once I say I help him buy bondage pants. He saying I don't know what it means. OF course I do, but please don't be so sensitive lar. It is only a pants. It is not like I am going to ask him to use it for BDSM. GROSS.... Bloody mental image. That is so scary. Well i need to go le. TIME for choir. At queenstown....secondary hope to see josephine or yuping

About that saturday 8th Dec

ok I am now like being irritated by my dear cousin.... wait sorry nono not dear.. I need to analysis concert then they come kachou me. LOL Now they are complaining about my english like shit. Anyway about yesterday. Well in the morning I went to Suntec City shoppin. with my dad, aunt, uncle and grandma. There was this Gothic lolita shop at 'Mr. PLAYground'. Quite big.... As big as the one in Bugis. OKOK mebbie I can't really fit in any of them. But I really feel happy when I saw it, at least I know I am not the only one that like it right. They maybe have GAZErock is NOT Dead T-shirt. If it is cheap maybe I can buy for Khia Lynn as birthday present. I really miss her man. Anyway later I went to tuition and you know what Ah Leow said.... 'Hey, your past live is a boy you know...' I ask how he know, he say I look like a boy and act like a boy. Maybe got put the wrong sex for me. LOL because he say I would be a very pretty boy. Well~ after tuition I headed for my FIRST lesson of guitar. It was really fun and exciting. The teacher is really. His guitar skills are awesome. I was really nervous and I can't really sight read fast enough so I jumbled up. Even easy songs like 'Ode for Joy' was a challenge to me. Half of the lesson I was thinking of three guys.... Aoi-san, Urha-san and guitar god, Miyavi Kami-sama. I really want to be like them or at least like the Danger Gang guitarist, Hiko,( She is a female)
Well after the lesson we went back to dad's house to watch football with my dad uncle and cousin. Well for me it was not exactly watching football... I was busy using the computer to change my blog. background. Tedious for a technologynoob like me. Well that was all for my day in 8th December 2007. oh yar I got a christmas present. It was from my second uncle. It was a cushion... I guess. I was touch... it was my first real christmas present.

PS company picture

This are the picture taken during the PSC Carnival tour 2005. YAYA-Chan just added words so it is not real. (I meant the one on the right)

This was during the *What a Wonderful World* Era. I think it is one of the most colourful dressing he had. But one of the most serious ones. He like very long never smile.

This was I think during the M.R.D concert back in 2005. It was one of the happy moments I guess. I think Ruki was forcing Reita to sing with him. They really good mates man.

Well I cant really blog now. I am at my dad's house with my uncle and two cousin. STUPID football. Well write tomorrow.....

LUNATIC running!!

OMFG. Here I was walking home from choir and I met this guy. Well he is a stranger. But at the starting he just as me where block 150 is? As I am new I don't really know either. But suddenly he just say thanks and shake my hand. Then not only that he ask me if I am scared of cats when we saw one. Mega LOL.... What the Hell he is really freaky. Then he ask if I am a Chinese. He thinks I am a Malay, Eurasian mixed. Well weird for a stranger to ask. Not that no one ask. I mean they will like say behind my back, 'Hey that malay girl can speak chinese' Anyway, he freaked me when suddenly he patted my back. Great I thought I will be raped anytime. SO I just walked quickly to the lift. Then he followed me. I was like really freak if he go into the lift with me. But he just stood outside. AND he ask me my name. Guess what name I gave? Lee Shu FU. I can't think of any name to give, so the first thing I thought and then say was SHU FU. Weird name maybe I was thinking of Tou Fu.... Well he ask me where I studied I said Queenstown. -.- BIG LOL. It is really freaky. I was like thinking... 'what will he do to me?' 'Is he a lunatic?' 'blablahblah.. I was like really shocked today when Andrea say she did erm.... oral sex with her boyfriend, Evan. And not only that erm well she dreamt of a BDSM dream with Evan??? CAn that be any grosssss~ Well I will never loss my virginity that young. But she seems more than eager to get married and you know.... S.E.X.... And you know when she told me told me that I was actually watching Decomposition Beauty and.. man was Aoi's scream damn nice man. It was good. He is a really sexy screamer and guitarist. Well I don't know if this is true but Khia lynn say he is married.... SHIT. I like love him a lot lor. Well I also admire him. He rmind me greatly of Miyavi. AND he also have anger management
problems. SO I will catch him in South-East asia like never. First to Germany but never to any near SEA. Like NLSG and MRD and PWB are only in Japan and so on. Never in the life of me will they Sinhgapore. SO pissed. I hope they will hold a PScompany tour again. I would really hope soo~. IMAGINE all of them reunited. Miyavi and AOI!!!!

TO JAPAN!!! \o/

OKOK this is really serious. I just find myself really happy this two days. Mebbie because I got my life back or something. Well I found a few really touching videos that I want to put in this lovely blog so I can remember it when I grow up. By then I would say 'hey that was the song that I like a when I was young'. WAY nostalgic.... Anyway I was like really going to study real real hard. WHY? Because if I get 4 As I would get to go to Japan. The place I always wanted to. OMG right!!! Then if I do better than that maybe I could buy a merchandise of any band I know. Unless if I come across lar. I don't think I will buy any albums because I could just download it online. RiGhT!! I mean I may find a Aoi PLUSHIE. LOL not buying Ruki's, or else Khia will snatch it away from me. MEGA LOL. Mebbie I should buy one for Khia. DID she like Ruki or Kai more?? Maybe there is Miyavi's concert DVD. ARH..... That is something not easily found in Singapore. WELL wish me good luck for year 2008!!!!
TO JAPAN MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



The last Performanc I cried because it was really sad. Miyavi cried too. I was like OMG. Why does all band have to end up disbanded one day???

What A DAY!!!

Wow I was like really happy and really mad. LOL. Mad because I was given by my all to nice cousin, WONG JUN MING. ARGH.... But anyway thanks to it I was really relieved... That I am still not a worthless computer geek. LOL. Well today I didn't really used the computer till now in the night. I was like watching the Final Fantasy Advent Childeren and... man was Cloud really good looking. Actually everyone in the anime is good looking. Even the baddie. And yea the baddie was the next handsome. BIG LOL. His voice kind of remind me of the vocalist from Antique Cafe damn cute. I loved all the fighting scenes. Meng brother love Tifa and long for his to come. MEGA LOL... Anyway well I forget to tell you something LAST saturday, first of december you know who I saw?? I think you also won't know. RYAN LEONG!!!~ He has grown up really fast. Well growing a bit more handsome haha. Well I really do miss him a bit. He was a really nice person if you know him well. And actually we got together *as friends* because he is a BIG FAN of Jay chou and so was I at that time. He is really nice prson trust me. Although he is a bit irritating and all at times. WEll I gtot my spectacles done. Purple totally fifferent no one I knowtried that so I gave it a shot. Well gtg reading naruto fanfiction

The GazettE

Well I still cant really get over them. I mean how can you forget them. There is like 3 sexy guys gods no 4, no actually five sexy guy gods. And all of them basking under all the neonlights during the concerts. And freak look and Aoi in that translucent see-through shirt. I mean it was them hot~. Shit my fangirl is all up again.... *WEE FEELING HYPER* Anyway I think the most I cant resist is Ruki and Aoi. They are like really kool and all that. And man, Ruki can do some really sizzling things like... He is like licking his fingers all over. And was dancing in front of Urha or worst pole dancing with the fence. Totally eccentric. Oh wonder Khia love him the most. And my oh my Urha's leg is totally eye-opener lar. He have such nice thighs, I wish to have it too. *pouting* At the starting I thought he was a girl. Major LOL. Their songs are really nice too. I love how Ruki sings and his stage presence is awesome. Oh and Kai OMFG. You I saw this part of decomposition Beauty. Kai was like looking at the camera with the side of the eyes as he continue drumming and it was like really kool. He look damn hottie. He don't really look that innocent. Sometimes he can continue drumming non-stop like a lunatic. And you do think he has gone mad.... It was like he like possessed. LOL he is like totally different in backstage lor. Oh I found a band that look like The GazettE. AND I SAY LOOK. Yea the vocalist look a bit like Ruki when Ruki have blond hair and there is one that dress like Urha and have really sexy thigh. LOL AND they are from the same PSCompany!~ SHIT Brother saw it again. WELL MEBBIE they are not really lyrical nice.... but I would to like to learn for stage presents. Well after all I want to be hot like them. I decided to learn from AOI and RUKI!!!!!!!!!!



The Starting would be very boring all talking blahblahblah but the drumming is really nice and so is the duet with Reita. I think they work really hard to perfect their indivdual skills. And I must say it is not easy playing a bass guitar. 1) You get really influenced easily by the drummer and mixed your rhythem up 2) It is darn heavy. Carrying all day could kill you as it nearly killed me. 3) And the strings are bloody thick and it is really painful to press.

Bloody make-up

Well today was the same Normal Day. Well other then the fact I scratch my face. I was like trying to follow how those visual kei people do their eyes you know... With thick eyeliner and all that. Well I just did a simple one... just with eyeliner. I learn it from the video. And well... it turned out nice with my hair down. I was make it well in the horror department. It was damn freaky... but I like it. But the problem is, it is bloody hard to remove it and I was like using the facial sponge to rub it. I rub for so long until can see my both eyes at the side got scratch. Very painful under the water... I wonder how visual kei people take it lor.... I learned a new japanese word koibito - sweetheart

Bloody Cursed Computer

So ‘The Legendary Computer’ once again has broken down. The connection is damn bloody weird. It is will totally not working in alternate days. I was thinking of watching this anime called ‘Paradise Kiss’ or see if Crunchyroll has this anime called ‘Blaue Rosen’… *Dirty thought streaming through my mind* Well you know the things I said about my aunt yesterday? Well I understand why she was so agitated. She was really angry with dad because he just left mum’s picture in that women’s car. Which mum would really hate. And she felt really painful that, yesterday it was mum’s last day and dad still treat it in a relax way. In fact, he even puts her picture in such a hateful position. So yar that was what she felt really angry. My dad had really angered my mum over the pass few years…. Causing her to get liver cancer over the pass few years. In fact she has depression. LOL My mum has depression and I have anger management problems. Well I think I really cool off a lot unlike when I was Primary 4 to 5. I don’t know why… I don’t get angry often when I was outside, but I get pissed easily at home. It is like I am against something. Well about my mum’s depression… Well she had it when our family went totally wrong. First is my dad, his job, money management, illness and…. rumored affairs. Second is me of course, I was really rebellious; I had anger management problems, and my TYPE of music and of course my studies. Well not that I say I am very bad nor I am very good. But my mum really expects a lot from me. The more her standards rise the more I get angry, the more I hurt her… Well I would say I am an average kid, or one who is trying to be an average kid. I don’t gang bang. I don’t take drugs. I don’t smoke. I don’t play truant. I don’t even skipped class. Yes, I do talk a lot in class. I do talk back. I do sleep or zone out in class. I do sometimes don’t homework. But other than that I am okok. My grades are average. Not the best, not the worse. I know she did not really like my class in Primary school. She was really angry that I landed in that class. But I must say without that class I would not learn what the worse is like. They were really nice people though. They are just all problematic. Like me. I was like them, they were like me. That year I finally felt that I was not the only one, there were others. But I guess it did not last long. I went to secondary school. Well I did make a few nice friends but not close enough. They don’t really like what I like, and a few of them are really scary people. They are like people with a mine bomb, the minute you say something wrong or do something wrong, they kind of explode. Weird people. Well never mind about that…. My mum also hates the music I listen to. She say they are people who take drugs, who do unmistakable things, and they are really dark people and worshipped the ‘wrong things’, their lyrics are very dark also. In fact their voice tone will not match my chorus voice. LOL. Well yeah it may kind of affect me in my voice color and articulation. But I never say I will make a living in the choral world. In fact I want to experiment with different genre of songs. And in fact visual kei really express me well. It is a genre that can express all kind of things anger, sorrow, happiness and best of all confusion. I mean which genre can express as well as visual kei. Rhythm and Blues only express love and lust no more. Have they ever talk about friendship about family? Pop genre… I think it is a very funny genre. It is a really commercialized but in the mind of a music person… it is a very shallow form of music. The lyric holds not much of a meaning. And I like Visual Kei song because the songs lift my spirit up, make me depressed… and so on. Like Alice nine and Miyavi and Kra make me happy while The GazettE and Plastic Tree make me depressed. Well that is all I can say. About My dad you know lar….. Hopeless Geezers

Plastic Tree - Harusaki Sentimental

I saw this PV and I was like really in love with this song. The vocalist is really handsome. And guess how old he is? HE IS LIKE
30++. The melody is really nice. I love it. It make me want to cry.
They are those lonely wholesome... Ryutaro is absolutely adorable. ♥

Outing with my dad

Well today in the morning went to temple to pray to mother. It was really... quiet I dont dare to speak and ... well the same things went on. But today early in the morning I was so pissed. I was like insisting that I must buy the flower but my dad said no..... And you know why he say no, because it is the last day and he say that it is no use buying flower because the helper in the temple will clear it up. Fuck it... What kind of attitude.... Your wife is dead and you can't even present a flower to her on her last day. What a husband??? Then later I went out with him. And we had a special guest. Aunty Jacaliqne. Great we had her. We went to make a spectacles for myself. She came along we us, for dinner too. We went to Kushin-Bo to eat. That was Gulity NO1. Oh there is this place beside Kushin-bo. It is a garden. There is a fountain. It is nice place, very pretty during dusk. I bet mom will like it. That was Guilty NO2. Then we went to eat. I was having a lot of fun. Aunty was nice. That is Guilty NO3 and NO4. I like her but not as my new mum. She was fun to be with, she is my friend... I never treat her like my real mum. Then I went home. My 2nd aunt found out I went out with that aunt. I did not tell her the truth. I lied to her I only went out with dad. Then she got angry because I was unfilial. Because I was enjoying my time with someone else other then my mum. I am really shocked by her way of talking to me. I now know no one liked me. First is my mum, then it my cousin then now my aunt. I know I am wrong, I am guilty but what am I to do? Don't go out with my dad? What? I am very confused. I hate it. I dont want to lie. I dont want to hide. I want to be normal. Is it wrong ? Please leave me alone. I am very tired. I don't want to be hated. I don't want to be unfilial. I don't want to hurt anyone. But why is everyone hurting me. First they disagree with my music, then my size, now they even disagree with my everything...... I did not mean to really... to just leave mum and have fun. I am really sorry. Actually now my current state, I realise something.... I have no one to love. In fact now everyone I think is hate and meaningles blabber. Whatever. You don't like me fine. I cant do anything. I give up. I am not nice anymore. And I will just remain nochalant.

I am so pissed just now. I was like using the computer and meng meng ask me to shut the computer off because I used for too long. Hell with it I was like darn pissed. But it did not last long lar. I went to do other things. I tried to add english lyrics to Alice Nine 'Q'(Question). It sounded soso but the meaning was a total mess. It was yet again a complete BLACKNESS. No meaning no happiness. *Sigh* when can I write like last time? Last time I wrote quite a few poems and it was pretty nice. I guess... Because when I showed others no one believed it was my work. LOL... I really hope to write more of them like this. Kitboy said it was due to the song I am listening currently. Well I must admit it is true *mostly*. Well I remember the last time I wrote a poem, I was a big, big fan of Miyavi. And now well ..... I like other band but I still like Miyavi. I think the cause was The GazettE. Ever since I listen to them I was like really obsessed with Ruki because of the lyrics he wrote. SHIT. I guess I will have to really forget them. So wish me all the best.... Ganbante

Yesterday Night

I went to somewhere really nostalgic. I went to Marina South. It was really nice. Peaceful and all. But most of it is empty. Only left the bowling alley and a few steamboat eatery. No more curry rice place. The flying kite area has shrink to only a limited area. I miss that place. I still remember flying the kite there. Eating the curry rice with my family. It is really nostalgic. Some how I find it is truely a peaceful place to be at.... It is really nice unlike the busy streets of 'Concrete Jungle' But sadly it would be demolished soon to make way for the new SANDS resort. With beautiful high class hotels and Casinos for rich people. Fuck it man.... I mean it would be nice if Singapore become Las Vegas number two, but wont it really sucks if all the old, familiar and nostalgic disappear... Places where it holds really deep memories?? Places that you go when you are young??? I really do look forward to IR but not so fast right....

Whoa today I woke and realised I cried.... While I was sleeping. I had a really terrible nightmare. I could still remember. 'She' was there.... 'She' came back again. Everything of her was scary. The way I shake. The way I was really powerless. I cant say a word, I cant move... And what is with the bloody arm there??? The way every muscle on her face move when she flare up was really creepy.... I can't say I love 'She' .... But the more I can't say I hate 'She'....Tomorrow would be her last day. I hope to make it the best... With whatever love and respect I have towards her. I wish her happy journey onwards.... Please forget me .

Jrock music

WELL….today nothing interesting happened (of course it is the morning now only)
But Today I am really happy…. I dreamt of guess ….. A group of fat people freaking me and asking me to slim down or I would be like them… And if I am not wrong I thought I saw the fatty guy in The GazettE PV ~Filth In The Beauty~. Seriously Creepy -.- Well yesterday I downloaded a lot of singles…. I finally found Charlotte mini-album. It is called, Sharundenashi BLUES. Ok lar the songs….very cute and it sound as good as Antique café. Oh Bou left Antique Café this year march… I wonder why? But I am like not really affected by it… I dun really listen to their songs… But seriously Bou is really cute. But without him and including Yuki and Takuya (New replacement) the band becomes more masculine and that was kind of ok… I mean how long can this kind of band last if they continue acting cute right??? Oh and Kra new mini-album, Creatures. It is really nice a blend of Jazz and rock. My favorite song is World. I think Keiyuu voice is really good lor… He is like 29 this year right. Oh wonder his voice so mature. I cried when he sang Setsugekka. I was really touched by his voice. I have this Singles by a new band called Sendai Kamotsu
It is really cute. I also have Neu a Indie band singles ~Splash!~ Wah like Takuya from uverworld meet Antique Café. I just don’t like the sound effect. It is very irritating. I have the Aqua timez ~Dareka no Chijoue~. It is really nice but I think their song last time is better. Last time was completely soft rock. Now more noisy. Not that I CANT stand noisy song, it is just that I prefer them softer for Aqua Timez because the vocalist voice tone not so fit for hard rock. His voice would sound much better with soft rock, more peaceful. I mean that is just my opinion ^^ Something sad is I cant FIND Alice Nine New Album ~Alpha~ It is like everyone is saying that it is really nice and I must admit it is I only have the Cosmic World PV and Blue Planet PV and it was really nice. Blue planet is like complete happiness, although there is this pinky bunny. I bet all the Fangirls are like totally angry when they saw it. LOL The bunny was like totally seducing them with that extra tight tight mini mini skirt that could just show her butt. So it was kinda disgusting Well gtg le byees….